Phew, it's Friday and another week has passed. I know we shouldn't wish our lives away but I do enjoy it when the week is over and the weekend lays ahead.
On the work front for me, month end is over, yet again, for the 5th time this year and only 7 more to go. On the downside, the company is going to be audited again from Monday, which is really yuck, yuck, yuck! It's always so much fun teaching a bunch of degreed auditors, who think they know everything, except they know jack and then insist on arguing that what you've done is wrong. Oh well, I guess that's life at the bottom of the food chain.
Justin and Daniel have had a relatively quiet week thank goodness. With end of term approaching and reports which need to be out next week, all the tests, orals, newspaper articles etc. have pretty much come to an end. It's so nice that they actually have a little time to relax now.
Reece got his report today. Academically he's doing well, but lot's of comments about talking too much, not listenening to instructions, not following instructions, doesn't work well in a group, shouts when no one agrees with his ideas and then refuses to do anything in the group if they don't do it his way. I think we've just identified the next potential presidential candidate for one of our neighbouring countries! Seriously though, we've had to have a good chat with Reece as he is truly such a talented young fellow and is going to have to work hard to improve on his social skills.
Jz was sick yesterday and the school phoned to say I should fetch him. He complained of a very sore head and even driving along the Annandale Rd (a very bumpy stretch of road), he asked me to slow down as his head was too sore. After a dose of Nurofen he felt much better. The doc said it's sinusitis, just keep treating him with nose drops and nebulizing him and hopefully he'll recover without an antibiotic. He stayed home today and think tonight his eyes are positively square. He watched so much Tom & Jerry that eventually he switched it off he was so tired of it.
Wayne seems to be fine. He uses up all his words at work so I'm never really sure whats going on in his work life. He does give a couple of clues, like if he is programming he becomes quite distant, if he is struggling with stuff he is pensive and if he is bored he skypes me a lot. Well, he's a mystery man this week as he was none of those.
Our motorbikes are gathering dust in the garage. We are fair weather riders and considering the weather is all but that at the moment I guess the dust is going to get a loth thicker before we do ride them again.
Three more weeks until we fly to Jhb, can't wait.
Friday, 08 June 2007
Thursday, 07 June 2007
For better and worse!
What has happened to the institution of marriage? Call me old fashioned, call me narrow minded, call me whatever you like, but why is it that people can't stay married these days? I come from a broken home and have always had quite a cynical outlook on marriage. However, having been married for 14 years I've realised that you can stay married.
I'm definitely not bragging and am the first to tell anyone that marriage is definitely not a bed of roses, but it is doable! More than that, it is also enjoyable. Once you stop thinking about yourself and rather focus on others, it becomes workable. I suppose it's because we live in an instant society, where everyone wants instant results and satisfaction and are all wrapped up in their own selfish desires. Why else don't they stay married? Why else are they involved with the guy/gal from the office next door, yet they are married. It's obviously easier to get the instant satisfaction being sought from a third party, than to go home and try and work out each others needs with your spouse.
I also feel especially sad when there are kids involved. Children will always live with the effects of divorce, no matter how young they were when it happened or how much counselling they receive. It's true that children are survivors, but ask me and I'll be the first to tell you the ramifications of growing up in a single parent home. Again it all boils down to selfishness!
Why is it that people always think the grass is greener on the other side anyway? It never is! Rather the devil you know than the one you don't, I say. It takes years to understand each other in a marriage, years to figure out you won't be able to change your partner and years to work out all the conflicting issues. Someone once told Wayne and I that the first 20 years of marriage are the worst and I tend to agree. I'm sure by that time, you've worked through all the issues and you can really enjoy just being with other. If you keep flitting from one to another, how on earth will you ever reach that satisfaction? Marriage is hard, no one ever said it wasn't, however, it is possible and worth hanging in for.
Then you have the folk who just get married because it's the next logical step in the relationship. For goodness sake, what happened to love and value's? Next thing you hear they are divorced after a couple of months and they both claim that they have already moved on. Moved on where, to the next unsuspecting partner?
Families form the basis of our world, that is the way God intended it and at the rate we are going, breaking up the family unit is only going to lead to more heartache and plenty of unfulfilled lives.
I'm definitely not bragging and am the first to tell anyone that marriage is definitely not a bed of roses, but it is doable! More than that, it is also enjoyable. Once you stop thinking about yourself and rather focus on others, it becomes workable. I suppose it's because we live in an instant society, where everyone wants instant results and satisfaction and are all wrapped up in their own selfish desires. Why else don't they stay married? Why else are they involved with the guy/gal from the office next door, yet they are married. It's obviously easier to get the instant satisfaction being sought from a third party, than to go home and try and work out each others needs with your spouse.
I also feel especially sad when there are kids involved. Children will always live with the effects of divorce, no matter how young they were when it happened or how much counselling they receive. It's true that children are survivors, but ask me and I'll be the first to tell you the ramifications of growing up in a single parent home. Again it all boils down to selfishness!
Why is it that people always think the grass is greener on the other side anyway? It never is! Rather the devil you know than the one you don't, I say. It takes years to understand each other in a marriage, years to figure out you won't be able to change your partner and years to work out all the conflicting issues. Someone once told Wayne and I that the first 20 years of marriage are the worst and I tend to agree. I'm sure by that time, you've worked through all the issues and you can really enjoy just being with other. If you keep flitting from one to another, how on earth will you ever reach that satisfaction? Marriage is hard, no one ever said it wasn't, however, it is possible and worth hanging in for.
Then you have the folk who just get married because it's the next logical step in the relationship. For goodness sake, what happened to love and value's? Next thing you hear they are divorced after a couple of months and they both claim that they have already moved on. Moved on where, to the next unsuspecting partner?
Families form the basis of our world, that is the way God intended it and at the rate we are going, breaking up the family unit is only going to lead to more heartache and plenty of unfulfilled lives.
Wednesday, 06 June 2007
Circle of life
It's amazing how when we are growing up, we always swear that we will never raise our kids the way our parents were raising us. There are always those things that they did to us that we would never do to our kids.
Now that I'm a Mom, it's not so easy. Here are these little souls that to a large extent are going to be what they are because of how they were raised. That to me is pretty scary stuff. I know that a childs personality plays a part of who they are as well, but I get to play a huge part in how that personality gets moulded and I don't feel at all qualified to do that.
A lot of what we say and do (or even don't do) will influence what kind of adults they are going to be. It's also difficult to not pin our hopes and dreams on them. My twins do particularly well academically and when they do bring home a not so good result it's so hard not to act disappointed in front of them. Where does one draw the line between pushing them but not pushing too hard? I want them to learn that's important to work hard but I don't want them to turn around one day and say that I put them under a lot of pressure.
It's also so difficult to accept our children for who they are and not who we want them to be. Reece likes collecting junk! He doesn't think it is though. Old bones dug out from the garden ( he says they are dinosaur bones, I say they are someone's old dead and buried dog), carboard box constructions and bits of paper with pictures stuck all over them, form part of the mess in his room. But is it mess or just who is? I've been ruthless with his room in the past, getting in there and throwing all the 'junk' away, pretty heartless if I think about it now. That's because I like everything to be orderly and tidy, but that's not how Reece is. He has now started packing a plastic crate with all his special possesions in(the bones included), so that when he leaves home he can take it all with him. I've decided that it's time for me to let him be who he is, even if it means all the 'junk' that goes with it, before I turn him into someone he doesn't want to be.
I hope and pray that even when I do make mistakes with my kids, the stuff I've managed to do right will far outway the mistakes, and that my young men will turn out ok. That they will see where I went wrong and have the courage to change it with their kids.
Now that I'm a Mom, it's not so easy. Here are these little souls that to a large extent are going to be what they are because of how they were raised. That to me is pretty scary stuff. I know that a childs personality plays a part of who they are as well, but I get to play a huge part in how that personality gets moulded and I don't feel at all qualified to do that.
A lot of what we say and do (or even don't do) will influence what kind of adults they are going to be. It's also difficult to not pin our hopes and dreams on them. My twins do particularly well academically and when they do bring home a not so good result it's so hard not to act disappointed in front of them. Where does one draw the line between pushing them but not pushing too hard? I want them to learn that's important to work hard but I don't want them to turn around one day and say that I put them under a lot of pressure.
It's also so difficult to accept our children for who they are and not who we want them to be. Reece likes collecting junk! He doesn't think it is though. Old bones dug out from the garden ( he says they are dinosaur bones, I say they are someone's old dead and buried dog), carboard box constructions and bits of paper with pictures stuck all over them, form part of the mess in his room. But is it mess or just who is? I've been ruthless with his room in the past, getting in there and throwing all the 'junk' away, pretty heartless if I think about it now. That's because I like everything to be orderly and tidy, but that's not how Reece is. He has now started packing a plastic crate with all his special possesions in(the bones included), so that when he leaves home he can take it all with him. I've decided that it's time for me to let him be who he is, even if it means all the 'junk' that goes with it, before I turn him into someone he doesn't want to be.
I hope and pray that even when I do make mistakes with my kids, the stuff I've managed to do right will far outway the mistakes, and that my young men will turn out ok. That they will see where I went wrong and have the courage to change it with their kids.
Sunday, 03 June 2007
There's always seems to be one...
I guess when you live in a house surrounded by so many people what are the chances of having them all happy at once? I'm not saying that we are all miserable of course, it's just that it always seems one of us is griping about something.
Today was no different. Justin found out he would be missing the first two days of school in the third term and just about had a coronary. The fact that we saved R800 on the air tickets by coming back two days later than originally planned, was totally irrelevant. I finally managed to cure the 'my face looks like a slapped bum' look, by agreeing to take him to school the same day we come back, so officially he only misses one & half days of school instead of two. I suppose I should be relieved that he is so studious.
We then decided to make the best of the fantastic weather today and have a picnic at the Helderberg Nature Reserve. We invited out friends Gayle and Stuart to join us and off we went with great aspirations for a relaxing afternoon, not!! James decided that he was not going to share the ball we had taken with, so there was much screaming every time someone went near it. He insisted he needed to play with the cricket bat which was twice his size and which he insisted on holding above his head. This meant we had to keep taking it away from him for the fear he would knock himself out. That didn't go down very well. Then we asked our older lads to take him for a walk (peace at last), until he came back screaming because he had fallen. I gave up. There is just no way that we can ever go anywhere and not have any drama. I guess this comes from having so many children.
I guess the perfect families we see on tv with everyone frolicking and full of smiles don't really exist. We are a big family, we are all different and we all have our idiosyncrasies. After all was said and done though, we did enjoy our time today and have all agreed we had, had a fun time together this weekend. I guess that's what I love about family. We can be ourselves around each other and still have a good time together even if there always seems to be one....
Today was no different. Justin found out he would be missing the first two days of school in the third term and just about had a coronary. The fact that we saved R800 on the air tickets by coming back two days later than originally planned, was totally irrelevant. I finally managed to cure the 'my face looks like a slapped bum' look, by agreeing to take him to school the same day we come back, so officially he only misses one & half days of school instead of two. I suppose I should be relieved that he is so studious.
We then decided to make the best of the fantastic weather today and have a picnic at the Helderberg Nature Reserve. We invited out friends Gayle and Stuart to join us and off we went with great aspirations for a relaxing afternoon, not!! James decided that he was not going to share the ball we had taken with, so there was much screaming every time someone went near it. He insisted he needed to play with the cricket bat which was twice his size and which he insisted on holding above his head. This meant we had to keep taking it away from him for the fear he would knock himself out. That didn't go down very well. Then we asked our older lads to take him for a walk (peace at last), until he came back screaming because he had fallen. I gave up. There is just no way that we can ever go anywhere and not have any drama. I guess this comes from having so many children.
 James after his fall |  Our aspiring cricketer |
I guess the perfect families we see on tv with everyone frolicking and full of smiles don't really exist. We are a big family, we are all different and we all have our idiosyncrasies. After all was said and done though, we did enjoy our time today and have all agreed we had, had a fun time together this weekend. I guess that's what I love about family. We can be ourselves around each other and still have a good time together even if there always seems to be one....
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