Phew, it's Friday and another week has passed. I know we shouldn't wish our lives away but I do enjoy it when the week is over and the weekend lays ahead.
On the work front for me, month end is over, yet again, for the 5th time this year and only 7 more to go. On the downside, the company is going to be audited again from Monday, which is really yuck, yuck, yuck! It's always so much fun teaching a bunch of degreed auditors, who think they know everything, except they know jack and then insist on arguing that what you've done is wrong. Oh well, I guess that's life at the bottom of the food chain.
Justin and Daniel have had a relatively quiet week thank goodness. With end of term approaching and reports which need to be out next week, all the tests, orals, newspaper articles etc. have pretty much come to an end. It's so nice that they actually have a little time to relax now.
Reece got his report today. Academically he's doing well, but lot's of comments about talking too much, not listenening to instructions, not following instructions, doesn't work well in a group, shouts when no one agrees with his ideas and then refuses to do anything in the group if they don't do it his way. I think we've just identified the next potential presidential candidate for one of our neighbouring countries! Seriously though, we've had to have a good chat with Reece as he is truly such a talented young fellow and is going to have to work hard to improve on his social skills.
Jz was sick yesterday and the school phoned to say I should fetch him. He complained of a very sore head and even driving along the Annandale Rd (a very bumpy stretch of road), he asked me to slow down as his head was too sore. After a dose of Nurofen he felt much better. The doc said it's sinusitis, just keep treating him with nose drops and nebulizing him and hopefully he'll recover without an antibiotic. He stayed home today and think tonight his eyes are positively square. He watched so much Tom & Jerry that eventually he switched it off he was so tired of it.
Wayne seems to be fine. He uses up all his words at work so I'm never really sure whats going on in his work life. He does give a couple of clues, like if he is programming he becomes quite distant, if he is struggling with stuff he is pensive and if he is bored he skypes me a lot. Well, he's a mystery man this week as he was none of those.
Our motorbikes are gathering dust in the garage. We are fair weather riders and considering the weather is all but that at the moment I guess the dust is going to get a loth thicker before we do ride them again.
Three more weeks until we fly to Jhb, can't wait.
Friday, 08 June 2007
Thursday, 07 June 2007
For better and worse!
What has happened to the institution of marriage? Call me old fashioned, call me narrow minded, call me whatever you like, but why is it that people can't stay married these days? I come from a broken home and have always had quite a cynical outlook on marriage. However, having been married for 14 years I've realised that you can stay married.
I'm definitely not bragging and am the first to tell anyone that marriage is definitely not a bed of roses, but it is doable! More than that, it is also enjoyable. Once you stop thinking about yourself and rather focus on others, it becomes workable. I suppose it's because we live in an instant society, where everyone wants instant results and satisfaction and are all wrapped up in their own selfish desires. Why else don't they stay married? Why else are they involved with the guy/gal from the office next door, yet they are married. It's obviously easier to get the instant satisfaction being sought from a third party, than to go home and try and work out each others needs with your spouse.
I also feel especially sad when there are kids involved. Children will always live with the effects of divorce, no matter how young they were when it happened or how much counselling they receive. It's true that children are survivors, but ask me and I'll be the first to tell you the ramifications of growing up in a single parent home. Again it all boils down to selfishness!
Why is it that people always think the grass is greener on the other side anyway? It never is! Rather the devil you know than the one you don't, I say. It takes years to understand each other in a marriage, years to figure out you won't be able to change your partner and years to work out all the conflicting issues. Someone once told Wayne and I that the first 20 years of marriage are the worst and I tend to agree. I'm sure by that time, you've worked through all the issues and you can really enjoy just being with other. If you keep flitting from one to another, how on earth will you ever reach that satisfaction? Marriage is hard, no one ever said it wasn't, however, it is possible and worth hanging in for.
Then you have the folk who just get married because it's the next logical step in the relationship. For goodness sake, what happened to love and value's? Next thing you hear they are divorced after a couple of months and they both claim that they have already moved on. Moved on where, to the next unsuspecting partner?
Families form the basis of our world, that is the way God intended it and at the rate we are going, breaking up the family unit is only going to lead to more heartache and plenty of unfulfilled lives.
I'm definitely not bragging and am the first to tell anyone that marriage is definitely not a bed of roses, but it is doable! More than that, it is also enjoyable. Once you stop thinking about yourself and rather focus on others, it becomes workable. I suppose it's because we live in an instant society, where everyone wants instant results and satisfaction and are all wrapped up in their own selfish desires. Why else don't they stay married? Why else are they involved with the guy/gal from the office next door, yet they are married. It's obviously easier to get the instant satisfaction being sought from a third party, than to go home and try and work out each others needs with your spouse.
I also feel especially sad when there are kids involved. Children will always live with the effects of divorce, no matter how young they were when it happened or how much counselling they receive. It's true that children are survivors, but ask me and I'll be the first to tell you the ramifications of growing up in a single parent home. Again it all boils down to selfishness!
Why is it that people always think the grass is greener on the other side anyway? It never is! Rather the devil you know than the one you don't, I say. It takes years to understand each other in a marriage, years to figure out you won't be able to change your partner and years to work out all the conflicting issues. Someone once told Wayne and I that the first 20 years of marriage are the worst and I tend to agree. I'm sure by that time, you've worked through all the issues and you can really enjoy just being with other. If you keep flitting from one to another, how on earth will you ever reach that satisfaction? Marriage is hard, no one ever said it wasn't, however, it is possible and worth hanging in for.
Then you have the folk who just get married because it's the next logical step in the relationship. For goodness sake, what happened to love and value's? Next thing you hear they are divorced after a couple of months and they both claim that they have already moved on. Moved on where, to the next unsuspecting partner?
Families form the basis of our world, that is the way God intended it and at the rate we are going, breaking up the family unit is only going to lead to more heartache and plenty of unfulfilled lives.
Wednesday, 06 June 2007
Circle of life
It's amazing how when we are growing up, we always swear that we will never raise our kids the way our parents were raising us. There are always those things that they did to us that we would never do to our kids.
Now that I'm a Mom, it's not so easy. Here are these little souls that to a large extent are going to be what they are because of how they were raised. That to me is pretty scary stuff. I know that a childs personality plays a part of who they are as well, but I get to play a huge part in how that personality gets moulded and I don't feel at all qualified to do that.
A lot of what we say and do (or even don't do) will influence what kind of adults they are going to be. It's also difficult to not pin our hopes and dreams on them. My twins do particularly well academically and when they do bring home a not so good result it's so hard not to act disappointed in front of them. Where does one draw the line between pushing them but not pushing too hard? I want them to learn that's important to work hard but I don't want them to turn around one day and say that I put them under a lot of pressure.
It's also so difficult to accept our children for who they are and not who we want them to be. Reece likes collecting junk! He doesn't think it is though. Old bones dug out from the garden ( he says they are dinosaur bones, I say they are someone's old dead and buried dog), carboard box constructions and bits of paper with pictures stuck all over them, form part of the mess in his room. But is it mess or just who is? I've been ruthless with his room in the past, getting in there and throwing all the 'junk' away, pretty heartless if I think about it now. That's because I like everything to be orderly and tidy, but that's not how Reece is. He has now started packing a plastic crate with all his special possesions in(the bones included), so that when he leaves home he can take it all with him. I've decided that it's time for me to let him be who he is, even if it means all the 'junk' that goes with it, before I turn him into someone he doesn't want to be.
I hope and pray that even when I do make mistakes with my kids, the stuff I've managed to do right will far outway the mistakes, and that my young men will turn out ok. That they will see where I went wrong and have the courage to change it with their kids.
Now that I'm a Mom, it's not so easy. Here are these little souls that to a large extent are going to be what they are because of how they were raised. That to me is pretty scary stuff. I know that a childs personality plays a part of who they are as well, but I get to play a huge part in how that personality gets moulded and I don't feel at all qualified to do that.
A lot of what we say and do (or even don't do) will influence what kind of adults they are going to be. It's also difficult to not pin our hopes and dreams on them. My twins do particularly well academically and when they do bring home a not so good result it's so hard not to act disappointed in front of them. Where does one draw the line between pushing them but not pushing too hard? I want them to learn that's important to work hard but I don't want them to turn around one day and say that I put them under a lot of pressure.
It's also so difficult to accept our children for who they are and not who we want them to be. Reece likes collecting junk! He doesn't think it is though. Old bones dug out from the garden ( he says they are dinosaur bones, I say they are someone's old dead and buried dog), carboard box constructions and bits of paper with pictures stuck all over them, form part of the mess in his room. But is it mess or just who is? I've been ruthless with his room in the past, getting in there and throwing all the 'junk' away, pretty heartless if I think about it now. That's because I like everything to be orderly and tidy, but that's not how Reece is. He has now started packing a plastic crate with all his special possesions in(the bones included), so that when he leaves home he can take it all with him. I've decided that it's time for me to let him be who he is, even if it means all the 'junk' that goes with it, before I turn him into someone he doesn't want to be.
I hope and pray that even when I do make mistakes with my kids, the stuff I've managed to do right will far outway the mistakes, and that my young men will turn out ok. That they will see where I went wrong and have the courage to change it with their kids.
Sunday, 03 June 2007
There's always seems to be one...
I guess when you live in a house surrounded by so many people what are the chances of having them all happy at once? I'm not saying that we are all miserable of course, it's just that it always seems one of us is griping about something.
Today was no different. Justin found out he would be missing the first two days of school in the third term and just about had a coronary. The fact that we saved R800 on the air tickets by coming back two days later than originally planned, was totally irrelevant. I finally managed to cure the 'my face looks like a slapped bum' look, by agreeing to take him to school the same day we come back, so officially he only misses one & half days of school instead of two. I suppose I should be relieved that he is so studious.
We then decided to make the best of the fantastic weather today and have a picnic at the Helderberg Nature Reserve. We invited out friends Gayle and Stuart to join us and off we went with great aspirations for a relaxing afternoon, not!! James decided that he was not going to share the ball we had taken with, so there was much screaming every time someone went near it. He insisted he needed to play with the cricket bat which was twice his size and which he insisted on holding above his head. This meant we had to keep taking it away from him for the fear he would knock himself out. That didn't go down very well. Then we asked our older lads to take him for a walk (peace at last), until he came back screaming because he had fallen. I gave up. There is just no way that we can ever go anywhere and not have any drama. I guess this comes from having so many children.
I guess the perfect families we see on tv with everyone frolicking and full of smiles don't really exist. We are a big family, we are all different and we all have our idiosyncrasies. After all was said and done though, we did enjoy our time today and have all agreed we had, had a fun time together this weekend. I guess that's what I love about family. We can be ourselves around each other and still have a good time together even if there always seems to be one....
Today was no different. Justin found out he would be missing the first two days of school in the third term and just about had a coronary. The fact that we saved R800 on the air tickets by coming back two days later than originally planned, was totally irrelevant. I finally managed to cure the 'my face looks like a slapped bum' look, by agreeing to take him to school the same day we come back, so officially he only misses one & half days of school instead of two. I suppose I should be relieved that he is so studious.
We then decided to make the best of the fantastic weather today and have a picnic at the Helderberg Nature Reserve. We invited out friends Gayle and Stuart to join us and off we went with great aspirations for a relaxing afternoon, not!! James decided that he was not going to share the ball we had taken with, so there was much screaming every time someone went near it. He insisted he needed to play with the cricket bat which was twice his size and which he insisted on holding above his head. This meant we had to keep taking it away from him for the fear he would knock himself out. That didn't go down very well. Then we asked our older lads to take him for a walk (peace at last), until he came back screaming because he had fallen. I gave up. There is just no way that we can ever go anywhere and not have any drama. I guess this comes from having so many children.
 James after his fall |  Our aspiring cricketer |
I guess the perfect families we see on tv with everyone frolicking and full of smiles don't really exist. We are a big family, we are all different and we all have our idiosyncrasies. After all was said and done though, we did enjoy our time today and have all agreed we had, had a fun time together this weekend. I guess that's what I love about family. We can be ourselves around each other and still have a good time together even if there always seems to be one....
Saturday, 02 June 2007
Three going on thirty
It's amazing how when kids reach the age of three, all of a sudden they know a lot more than we do and they are suddenly qualified to debate everything.
James is no different! He has reached three, become a lot calmer than when he was younger but has turned into a king debater. In one afternoon we can debate anything from why he shouldn't have chocolate for supper to how much longer he can watch his Tom & Jerry dvd before having to go to bed.
This is also an age where unfortunately the afternoon nap becomes a HUGE debate. Today was no different of course, because in the car on the way to spend the afternoon with granny and grandpa, James very politely asked if he could watch Tom and Jerry when we got there. I of course very politely replied that he would have to have his afternoon nap first and then he could watch. His reply was that people only need to sleep when it's dark. My reply was that he is still young and so he needs to recharge his batteries by having a nap in the afternoon. He started to giggle and said, 'But I'm not a toy, only toy things have batteries'.
1 - nil to James.
James is no different! He has reached three, become a lot calmer than when he was younger but has turned into a king debater. In one afternoon we can debate anything from why he shouldn't have chocolate for supper to how much longer he can watch his Tom & Jerry dvd before having to go to bed.
This is also an age where unfortunately the afternoon nap becomes a HUGE debate. Today was no different of course, because in the car on the way to spend the afternoon with granny and grandpa, James very politely asked if he could watch Tom and Jerry when we got there. I of course very politely replied that he would have to have his afternoon nap first and then he could watch. His reply was that people only need to sleep when it's dark. My reply was that he is still young and so he needs to recharge his batteries by having a nap in the afternoon. He started to giggle and said, 'But I'm not a toy, only toy things have batteries'.
1 - nil to James.
Friday, 01 June 2007
TV or not to be
I was so excited this week when, after a seven year tv drought in our house, Wayne and I finally decided it was time to get satellite tv. I priced it and we were all set to go for installation today.
Our house is situated in a radio shadow and when we moved in seven years ago, the previous owners had taken their satellite dish and left us with an aerial that was so tall, it looked like something out of the fable 'Jack and the beanstalk'. Anyway, we had some tv installers around who all told us the same thing, that they couldn't guarantee the mammoth aerial would give us any reception and we should install satellite tv. It was quite costly back then so we opted against it, cancelled our M-Net subscription and so the tv drought began. Hiring dvd's from Mr Video has become our form of tv entertainment.
Suddenly we had a lot more time in the evenings. We started eating dinner around the dinner table and there was time to read and do a whole host of other things. It's also been great for my boys in that, in the afternoons there's never any rush to get homework done. They're also not sitting for hours every weekend filling their minds with drivel. We get to monitor all they are watching.
However, not having tv also presents some other issues. Whenever you get our crew in front of a tv they go all googly eyed and mouths are hanging open in awe! Needless to say, I also quite enjoy watching the Discovery channel and paging throught the tv guide to see if I can catch a good movie.
The day before yesterday was home fianance budget review day and guess what? We couldn't really afford the installation and the budget was looking tight already excluding the Dstv monthly subscription. Kaboom, there went the satellite tv installation.
In some ways I'm glad because we preserve the status quo but in some ways I'm also disappointed. I was looking forward to watching a F1 grand prix again and the Myth Busters. There would have also been an opportunity to try and teach the guys prudent tv watching.
Oh well, maybe in another seven years?
Our house is situated in a radio shadow and when we moved in seven years ago, the previous owners had taken their satellite dish and left us with an aerial that was so tall, it looked like something out of the fable 'Jack and the beanstalk'. Anyway, we had some tv installers around who all told us the same thing, that they couldn't guarantee the mammoth aerial would give us any reception and we should install satellite tv. It was quite costly back then so we opted against it, cancelled our M-Net subscription and so the tv drought began. Hiring dvd's from Mr Video has become our form of tv entertainment.
Suddenly we had a lot more time in the evenings. We started eating dinner around the dinner table and there was time to read and do a whole host of other things. It's also been great for my boys in that, in the afternoons there's never any rush to get homework done. They're also not sitting for hours every weekend filling their minds with drivel. We get to monitor all they are watching.
However, not having tv also presents some other issues. Whenever you get our crew in front of a tv they go all googly eyed and mouths are hanging open in awe! Needless to say, I also quite enjoy watching the Discovery channel and paging throught the tv guide to see if I can catch a good movie.
The day before yesterday was home fianance budget review day and guess what? We couldn't really afford the installation and the budget was looking tight already excluding the Dstv monthly subscription. Kaboom, there went the satellite tv installation.
In some ways I'm glad because we preserve the status quo but in some ways I'm also disappointed. I was looking forward to watching a F1 grand prix again and the Myth Busters. There would have also been an opportunity to try and teach the guys prudent tv watching.
Oh well, maybe in another seven years?
Saturday, 26 May 2007
Are all girl offroad motorbike riders sissies?
I'm fed up!!!! I've had my offroad motorbike 6 months and I still ride like a girl (the fact that I am one I suppose has a lot to do with that)!
I am sick and tired of going chug chug chug everywhere on my bike. I watch all the other guys riding their motorbikes, including my husband and sons, zooting their way around and there I am, hidden in all their dust or cow poo, just depending on where we are riding.
I don't have the confidence to go fast or to stand while riding (this is imperative on offroad motorbikes most of the time). I don't have the confidence to properly jump jumps or lean the bike in corners. I don't have confidence, period! I was hoping over time I would get more confidence but I'm still waiting for it to arrive! I think it possibly has more to do with testosterone and I'm afraid I lack the equipment needed to produce that.
So what's the answer? Maybe I need to ride with a bunch of girls to see if this is a girl thing or if I am truly a sissie. Maybe it's an age thing, the older you get the more cautious you become or simply the fact that I haven't fallen off my bike yet, to see that it's not so bad falling off after all.
Perhaps it's just time to accept that I'm not one of the guys, never will be and take up knitting!
I am sick and tired of going chug chug chug everywhere on my bike. I watch all the other guys riding their motorbikes, including my husband and sons, zooting their way around and there I am, hidden in all their dust or cow poo, just depending on where we are riding.
I don't have the confidence to go fast or to stand while riding (this is imperative on offroad motorbikes most of the time). I don't have the confidence to properly jump jumps or lean the bike in corners. I don't have confidence, period! I was hoping over time I would get more confidence but I'm still waiting for it to arrive! I think it possibly has more to do with testosterone and I'm afraid I lack the equipment needed to produce that.
So what's the answer? Maybe I need to ride with a bunch of girls to see if this is a girl thing or if I am truly a sissie. Maybe it's an age thing, the older you get the more cautious you become or simply the fact that I haven't fallen off my bike yet, to see that it's not so bad falling off after all.
Perhaps it's just time to accept that I'm not one of the guys, never will be and take up knitting!
Friday, 27 April 2007
Piles.........of filing
It's funny how men are never on the same wavelength as women! Why is it that when we say something, they think we mean something else?
A good example of this ocurred this morning. I was standing in front of the longest kitchen counter we have in our kitchen. Now let me just tell you that this particular kitchen counter is one of the biggest causes of stress in my life. It happens to be the dumping ground for all and sundry in the house. Funnily enough once the stuff is dumped here, it never seems to go away. When my compulsive obsessive self allows it, this junk heap grows and grows, that is until we are having people around. I then spend the better part of two hours getting the counter tidied up before they arrive. Now the compulsive obsessive self kicks back in and I spend all my time obsessesing over keeping this counter tidy.
So there I am standing in front of this half untidy counter this morning, tidying up all the paper into various piles of filing, things to do etc. Wayne my husband is standing next to me at the counter doing something mindless (it probably wasn't mindless to him, I just wasn't taking any notice). I then say to him rather proudly "I'm so glad I'm managing to get my piles sorted out", and what's his reply? He says "Oh good, have you been treating them?". Not haemorroids you fool, the paper piles! Of course he cracked himself up thinking this was extremely funny! I rest my case!
A good example of this ocurred this morning. I was standing in front of the longest kitchen counter we have in our kitchen. Now let me just tell you that this particular kitchen counter is one of the biggest causes of stress in my life. It happens to be the dumping ground for all and sundry in the house. Funnily enough once the stuff is dumped here, it never seems to go away. When my compulsive obsessive self allows it, this junk heap grows and grows, that is until we are having people around. I then spend the better part of two hours getting the counter tidied up before they arrive. Now the compulsive obsessive self kicks back in and I spend all my time obsessesing over keeping this counter tidy.
So there I am standing in front of this half untidy counter this morning, tidying up all the paper into various piles of filing, things to do etc. Wayne my husband is standing next to me at the counter doing something mindless (it probably wasn't mindless to him, I just wasn't taking any notice). I then say to him rather proudly "I'm so glad I'm managing to get my piles sorted out", and what's his reply? He says "Oh good, have you been treating them?". Not haemorroids you fool, the paper piles! Of course he cracked himself up thinking this was extremely funny! I rest my case!
Thursday, 26 April 2007
Nature's way of having a braai (barbeque)
Waking up to a real thunderstorm on Tuesday morning was stunning. Not a common occurrence in Cape Town, it was really good to hear rolling thunder and seeing lightning light up the room. By the time my family had all staggered through to the kitchen for breakfast, unfortunately the storm had passed, so rather short lived.However the storm had not passed the attention of James my three year old. His first question to me when we came into the kitchen was 'What was that noise when we were waking up in the morning?'
James was born in Cape Town and therefore has been completely oblivious to the fact that thunder and lightning exist. Between myself and the rest of the family we managed to explain to James what is was. It turned out to be quite a lengthy discussion lasting up until the last school drop off.
Anyway, as the day progressed, it turned out that the Cape Town firefighters had a tough time on Tuesday putting out 13 fires caused by the lightning. After picking the lads up from school that afternoon, because of our morning discussion, I mentioned to the lads about all the fires. This of course sparked another discussion about what happened to the animals in the fire etc. At that point I nearly cracked myself up because I ended the conversation by stating that fires caused by lightning was natures way of having a braai. My eldest boys killed themselves laughing and that was it, subject closed.
James was born in Cape Town and therefore has been completely oblivious to the fact that thunder and lightning exist. Between myself and the rest of the family we managed to explain to James what is was. It turned out to be quite a lengthy discussion lasting up until the last school drop off.
Anyway, as the day progressed, it turned out that the Cape Town firefighters had a tough time on Tuesday putting out 13 fires caused by the lightning. After picking the lads up from school that afternoon, because of our morning discussion, I mentioned to the lads about all the fires. This of course sparked another discussion about what happened to the animals in the fire etc. At that point I nearly cracked myself up because I ended the conversation by stating that fires caused by lightning was natures way of having a braai. My eldest boys killed themselves laughing and that was it, subject closed.
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